Excerpt from FMLA

Thought I'd share this little FAQ I came across while I researched my leave under the FMLA.

Q23.  An employee with difficulty getting pregnant is going to have fertility treatments.  Can she invoke FMLA for these treatments?

A23.  Inability to get pregnant is not a serious health condition.  Therefore, the employee cannot invoke FMLA for the purpose of receiving fertility treatments.  However, FMLA may be invoked if complications from receiving the treatments result in a serious health condition. (5 CFR 630.1203(a)(3))

UUMMMMM - I beg to differ. Any condition that requires the amount of blood draws, therapy, needle pokes, surgeries, doctor's visits and procedures is most certainly a serious health condition. Wondering how we work to change these laws!?!?!?

The Shrink

So E went to see a therapist today.  He's been battling some depression almost since we met and I finally convinced him to go see someone on the recommendation of my therapist.  Now today was only the first session, but right off the bat, he tells me she thinks we need marriage counseling. Seriously, who doesn't!?!?!

I mean I'm already in therapy, E's going and now we need more. I don't think so. I hate these therapists where all they do is tell you you need more therapy.  Well, no kidding because that means I'm paying you!  Seriously, if we went to 3 therapy sessions, we'd be spending all of our time and money in therapy and I think we've done pretty good all things considered. 

I love my therapist, but I fully intend on stopping or spacing out my appointments in the near future. I don't think I need continuous therapy.  One of the reasons I like who I see is because she gives credit where credit is due - meaning, she tells me it's great that we still have such a supportive relationship through all this infertility stuff and then gives me concrete things to work on. 

UGH - I'm just really annoyed at this lady E saw who also told him to discontinue his weight loss regimen during this time.  I can't help but feeling like this is a huge mistake because I'm afraid E will gain the weight he's worked so hard to lose. That would be devastating because his health effects our family so much.  Anyway, this is just a vent this morning.  Really, what did we do without therapy - oh yea, there's wine!

Good News Today

We graduated from our clinic this morning! I am so thrilled. Our little one is measuring right on time at 9 weeks 1 day. Phew - he/she caught right up. Heartbeat is going strong at 182 and we even saw a leg move which was absolutely amazing! 

I have my first appointment with the OB next Wednesday. I decided we're going to go to 2 appointments and then decide who we like because I don't want to just jump into this decision - so we'll go to one OB on Wednesday and the other on Thursday and decide after the second appointment. 

I still really can't believe this was happening.  I was nervous for today's scan but not as nervous as before. Course it didn't help that I had lunch with one of my dearest college friends yesterday who relayed the story of her friend's miscarriage at 17 weeks! I swear - do any of you have friends you love to death but really, they say the wrong thing all the time?!?! That's how my friend is - she doesn't know what she's saying and I think I'm really going to need to have a chat with her. Now she doesn't know I'm pregnant as we aren't ready to share yet, but there are just some things you don't tell someone who's been trying to have a baby for the last 3 years!?!?!

Anyway, really trying to forget about that story for now. I have plans to go to prenatal yoga with my friend on Saturday morning which I'm super excited about. I have really missed yoga and exercise other than walking. E is always hounding me not to jump around, walk too fast or whatever.  I have always been an active person so I'm definitely missing the workouts. 

Holy D Cup, Batman

Thought I'd share something fun today rather than bore you with regular updates.

On Saturday I ventured into the lingerie section at Nordstrom to purchase some items for friends' bridal showers coming up this summer. I had some items in my hand and the saleswoman asks if she can start me a room.  I said sure, thanks (FYI - helps me gauge which size to purchase friends if I try things on first - then I know to go up/down a size if needed).  Then she asks, have you been measured? You look like you're about a "D" cup. 

Wait, what!?!? Did she just saw D cup? I almost laughed out loud, but realized she's probably exactly right.  Before pregnancy, I was a C cup and now I'm totally spilling out of my bras so it makes sense that I would be a D cup.  But that just sounds ridiculous to me!  Anyway, E got a kick out of that when I got home and asked if I purchased anything for me.  To his disappointment, I didn't mainly because I don't know if I'll get bigger. I sure hope not because these are big enough, but good lord - never thought I'd be a D! 

8 weeks 3 days

I'm counting the hours and minutes until our next US.  Hoping and praying that our little one keeps on growing and sticks around for another 7 months so we get to meet him or her.  Each day is a struggle to remember that I'm in a good place. Everything is OK.  I literally have to repeat this to myself on an hourly basis.  Three years of infertility is tough to get over and I just haven't done it in 8 weeks.

I really would like to tell my sister my good news, mostly because I have a zillion questions I need help with.  The first being, how on Earth will I choose an OB?  I know first had not all doctors are alike but when I go in on Wednesday to hopefully graduate from the RE, I'm going to have to tell him who I've chosen.  I'm thinking of doing consults with 2 OBs to at least get a better feel before I commit.  I mean, I have consulted over 8 doctors in our infertility journey, it seems a little ridiculous to just go with the first OB who I can get in with.

I'm still dealing with anxiety over miscarriage and overwhelming feelings with regards to all the choices that have to be made for our near future.  Hopefully, Sunday with my pregnant infertile friends will help me feel a little better.

I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant

Seriously, this would be me unless we hadn't just seen our baby with a gorgeous heartbeat of 154 at 8 weeks!  Unfortunately, I'm still not entirely convinced that we'll get our take home baby come January.  I am exactly 8 weeks today, but the CRL (crown to rump length) only measured 7 weeks, 4 days which is making me a little uneasy. The gestational sac is measuring right at 8 weeks and the yolk is measuring at 8 weeks 2 days. The doctors were thrilled with the results and said definitely not to worry. Things were progressing wonderfully.  Right, don't worry. Not things an infertile woman does easily.

E is a little annoyed with me I can tell, that I'm not jumping for joy.  I know the doc said everything is fine, I know these measurements aren't entirely accurate at this stage in the game but I'm still nervous.  We were given the choice to graduate to an OB today or to do one more US with our RE and of course I opted for one more US next week. 

I think I'm putting off going to the OB because I'm so scared they'll treat me like any other regular patient. And I don't feel like a regular patient at all.  Thankfully, I am having lunch with some pregnant friends from my support group on Sunday so I'll be able to talk with them about all my craziness. 

We still have not told anyone outside of our support group that we're pregnant. I really would like to tell my parents first and in person but I don't think we'll be able to see them until mid-July - when I'm about 14 weeks along. That will be a long time to wait but we'll see.

It's June

I wish it were July!

No more spotting today so far which is excellent news.  I am having a few friends over tonight and am going to have to figure out how to hide the fact that I'm not drinking. With 8 extra people in the house, hopefully no one will notice if I just carry around a glass of wine. I also feel like, as the hostess, I'll be running around and it will be easy to misplace my glass. Heck - I do that half the time anyway when I am drinking so nothing out of the ordinary there.  The only problem I see, is that I really do want a glass. I just want one - I want to chill out - feel normal again. Instead I'm a ball of anxiety all day every day. 

Though we're getting close to Tuesday it still seems so far away.  I can't shake this feeling that my body isn't doing what it's supposed to.  This has to work because I truly don't think I can go through this waiting again.