I'm here

Soo sorry. I'm alive. We are doing well-aside from a sickness I can't seem to shake. I'm back at work and little ine just started daycare. Life is crazy right now but in a much better way than we were 4 months ago. I promise to write more later. 

Thankful

For my daughter and son- words I truly thought I might never write. And here are a few more things I never thought I'd be thankful for:

A relatively short NICU/hospital stay

Dr. Brown's specialty bottles

A hospital grade breast pump

Passing the swallow study

Mitten cuff pjs

Only using an NG tube/feeding pump infrequently now

A husband who attended the sleep study

Life Is hard these days...really really hard, but we're chugging thru!

Home

Going to be a quick one...likely full of typos again, sorry guys. 

We have been home a week. They discharged us after Baby E looked to be gaining a little weight and making progress with her new bottle. Frankly, we were gonna break her out anyway because E and I were managing her care essentially at that point not the docs/nurses. We only needed their equipment. 

So we came home with new equipment...and a nurse that comes once a week. At yesterday's weigh in, baby E had gained more than an ounce a day!!!! Which is incredible. So we aredoing  something right.

So much to manage between her health, taking care of mine...our very active bug C. Geting through this one feed at a time.

Still at the Hospital

We are doing better but still in the hospital. Baby E is learning to eat with a specialized bottle that takes time and energy to learn- fo her and for us. She needs to do most of her eating with this new bottle before we can go home. Also, she needs to gain weight. This is the one we're struggling with right now. She's expensing so much energy learning to eat. 

We are iht of the NICU which has its pros and cons of course. Being in a regular ward makes us feel more human- amazing what a window and a private room will do for your spirits. 

E and I have been alrernating nights here at hospital. Whoever stays gets about 3-4 hours of sleep that might between the feedings, a newborn baby, all the beeps that  go off constantly and oh, the annoying people who take citals every 4 hours. 

I beleive we'll be able to avoid makor surgery till she's 10-12 months ild which is great, but we have a ways to go before discharge. 

I'm functioning on so little aleep these days and processing so much important info, I cant believe my brain is actually working. 

8 days old and our gal hates her diaper changes, but she's our lone ranger- our fighter and with a lot of learning, new care techniques, love and FOOD, she will be just fine. 

E and I will be learning how to feees her at home with a nasal feeding tube. Seems so daunting right, but I memtioned that bith my kids were concieved via IVF amd our nirse said, ummm if you can inject yourself with multiple shots, eapecially IM ones, this will be a piece of cake. We can wndure this and as a fav mommy nlogher of mine notes- we can do hatd things. I'm doing it every day.

She's here

Baby E is here! Quick post but we have been thrown a curve ball called pierre robin sequence- just google it bc its a weird one to explain. Life started out in NICU....and now we're at a huge top rated children's hospital 2 days after birth. Heartbreaking to see our gal with such struggles. We are living hour to hour. But think in the end she'll be ok. 

Three More Days as a Family of Three

This post is all over the place so apologies!

It's surreal, I have to say. To be this close is so exciting. My emotions are all over the place it seems. I'm excited, hopeful, worried, scared, nervous, elated, exhausted and overjoyed all at once.

My fluid levels have stayed about the same and docs are still not worried. The swelling in my feet seems to be better than last week which is nice and I'm finally home for good.

I am teleworking which is great because I was just so tired of getting dressed every morning for work and dealing with the commute. The last few days at work were pretty stressful getting ready to head out but now I feel like things are under control and I'm ready. 

I hope I can handle being a mommy of 2. Today I got sad because I wasn't doing drop offs and pick ups for C at day care. I won't be doing that the majority of the time on maternity leave either. That time is both difficult and cherished. But I'm comforted by the fact that while I'm on maternity leave, I can decide to keep him home with me more and have some extra special days.  Having the option is great though I know we'll have him go to day care at least 4 days every week to keep up that continuity, but I can pick him up early or drop off late if we want.  I realize that when you have more kids the love grows, but I want to be sure C gets just as much as he was getting before. I know at first, the adjustment to mommy's time will be hard. Thankfully, he's still very much a daddy's boy so E will likely be the main man.

Last OB appointment is Wednesday and then c-sesction is Thursday. Here we go!

We're Getting Close

Like...really close. 16 days close to be exact, but something tells me she's going to come sooner than that.  Fluid levels at my last check remained unchanged which was good. Of course, going down would have been better, but I can work with words like "stable" and "high side of normal."  Baby girl measured a little over 6 pounds at the last check.  My next check is tomorrow and I'm hoping for another "unchanged" fluid check and a 7 pounder in there.

Yesterday, we had a bit of a scare and I ended up in Labor and Delivery for about an hour. Sunday night, baby girl's movements were much different. It had me worried. She's usually super active after dinner and I just wasn't feeling it. Plus movements were softer and not as forceful as they used to be. I laid in bed for awhile and felt her multiple times so I figured everything was likely OK and I was just a bit nuts. Plus, I used the doppler so I knew her heart was beating away.  Then yesterday, I was feeling nauseous, and sweaty all morning. Sitting at my desk for a conference call, I thought I might melt into a puddle right in my chair. So I called the doc, explained the decreased/changed movement patter and my general "awfulness" - they sent me right to the hospital.

Thankfully, once there, a nurse found me and used the doppler right away to check on heartbeat - perfect. Then they got me a room and hooked me up for about 30 mins to monitor baby's movement and heartbeats. She did great and I got to go home after about a full hour of being there. I had to get back to work still feeling nauseous, but sucked it up. I was so relieved and my doctors are so nice- they told me never never to hesitate if I feel movement has been different. In fact, my one doc said I should have come in Sunday evening instead. "Don't mess around" were her exact words. So I won't, ever again.

Today, I'm feeling much better and looking forward to tomorrow's check on the baby. We've been doing weekly ultrasounds to check the fluid so it's great to see her each week.  A few more days to go...I can hardly believe it.