Flashbacks

So much of what I'm experiencing now is similiar to what I've experienced with infertility it's throwing me for a loop.

For one, there's the waiting. Waiting on my body to do something, waiting for appointments, waiting for some change.  Then there's the constant symptom checking.  Three days of dull headaches - what does that mean?  Minor spotting - could that be a sign?  Was that a cramp? Braxton Hicks or more? It's driving me a little nuts as it's impossible to escape my own body for even a minute. I'm focused on every little feeling it reminds me of the craziness felt during the 2WW.  Now, there's really no comparison emotionally to waiting for a pregnancy test vs. waiting to go into labor but the physical consciousness is very, very similar. 

I'm ready, E's ready, grandparents are ready - so are the 5-7 different coworkers/family members/friends who check in with me each day.  Baby, not so ready I guess.  My appointment on Wednesday went well. I'm still a full cm dilated but no more.  I was hoping for 2.  Doc seemed encouraging that this baby would come some time next week.  He said we'd definitely made some progress since last week which I think has to do with thinning of my lining.  I didn't get an exact measure of that though.  I should have. 

During my cervical exam the doc "stirred things up a bit."  His words not mind. Surprisingly with all that jabbing and poking in there, he still managed to be more gentle than one of his female OB counterparts.  Sometimes I think the male doctors are more gentle than the female ones.  Anyway, I've had a teeny bit of brown spotting since the "stirring" which he said I could expect and a little more cramping and Braxton Hicks at night but otherwise, baby is snug as a bug in a rug it seems.

Acupuncture this afternoon - I'm going to tell her to turn up the heat on the treatment.  Now she won't actually be using heat but just stimulating the points more frequently during our session. 

I go back to the OB Monday for an ultrasound if I'm still pregnant.  This weekend will be filled with a few long walks followed by some rest and then birthing ball exercises.  I still feel quite a bit of movement from this little guy - so I'm not sure he's really in position yet, but doc said he's dropping so all we can do is wait and see.  Something I suppose I should be used to by now.