Wednesday, October 31, 2012

So Annoyed

I have a few posts waiting in the wings after our long weekend visiting family and baby shower #1 (which was fantastic).  But I just need to vent.

One of my best friends from home announced to me that she was pregnant while we were out there. Thrilled, overjoyed, etc. for her. When I asked how far along she was, she said about 5 week! Uhh, what?  She hasn't even been to the doctor yet to confirm and she's telling me?!?!  Then came the dagger, which I hope she didn't mean:  "Yeah, it was actually pretty easy," she exclaimed.  OUCH, THUD, GET ME OUTTA HERE.  How on earth could she say such a thing to me? My instant happiness for her was wiped clean and now I felt nothing but a whole mix of not-so-nice stuff.  We were home for her sister's wedding so I assumed she just wanted a friend to cover for her when she wasn't drinking, but the strangest things unfolded.

She said she wasn't going to tell anyone so as not to take away from her sister's day, but then proceeded to be glaringly obvious she wasn't drinking at all the pre-wedding festivities. I alerted her to the fact that if she was trying to hide this thing, she was doing a terrible job.  Then, by the wedding day, she was openly telling everyone at the reception she was pregnant. OK so nothing is probably going to happen, but who tells people this news when they haven't even had the pregnancy confirmed by a doctor!?!?

This annoyed me to no end and my friend has been known to try to hog the spotlight a bit in the past. Now instead of being thrilled for her that our kids will be close in age, I'm upset, jealous, angry and dumbfounded by her actions.  Will I ever be able to get over these infertile feelings?

Monday, October 22, 2012

Childbirth Class

Sunday was our childbirth class at the hospital where we are going to deliver.  OMG, just a normal pregnant lady taking her tour of the hospital.  It was definitely surreal because I vividly remember visiting a close friend on the arrival of her first born at the same hospital.  On the way out of the visit about 2 years ago, we caught a glimpse of pregnant couples on their tour.  I was so jealous of them and longed to be in their shoes.  Funny cause E remembered the exact same thing and we both reminisced about our feelings that day and the contrast of the present moment. Very special indeed.

The class itself was very straightforward and informative. We went over medications, stages of labor, when to call the doctor, relaxation techniques, post partum - all sorts of things. Our instructor had been a nurse for almost 30 years and she served as a doula to her daughter's recent delivery.  I liked that she offered both mainstream and alternative approaches without being judgmental or a "know-it-all."  It was a long day for us though and I was pretty tired that evening.

We had our 28 week appointment this morning which included an ultrasound to check on my placenta. Good news - it's moved up right to where it needs to be so I'm off pelvic rest which I think basically that means no intercourse but I don't think we had to worry about that anyway. E and I are both afraid of what intercourse might do to this little guy. I know our fears are unfounded, but still.

Baby boy is measuring about 4 days ahead at 2lbs 15oz. Almost 3 whole pounds which is great.  He was in there, just chilln' out - moving his legs and drinking the tech told us.  Gestational diabetes check came back in just fine so we're cleared for our next appointment in about 3 weeks.

Wednesday we leave to head to a family friend's wedding in my hometown. It will be a long flight, but docs said I will be fine. Just drink lots of water and take a baby aspirin before, the day of ,and day after flight. Wednesday night is also my first baby shower which I'm absolutely thrilled about.

I can't wait to meet this little guy, but I also don't want the holidays to rush right by.  Especially considering how absolutely horrible last year's holidays were.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Officially Pregnant

I'm 27 weeks along but I've waited for the moment when someone would offer me their seat on the train since the first HPT.  It happened this morning and this wonderful young woman, who looked like she was about my age, immediately offered me her seat and I took it gladly.  It was all I could do to stop smiling.  

This milestone is probably very minor to most pregnant women, but not to me. I want to remember the moment when it was outwardly obvious to the whole world that I'm pregnant - and it's a freaking miracle! I told E and he told me it means I'm officially pregnant.  

We have our child birth class on Sunday which I'm really looking forward to. We are doing the all day format instead of breaking it up into a few different meetings. This just worked better for our schedule but it's going to be a long day.  I booked this appointment 2 months ago and I can't believe it's here already.  We're almost to the third trimester and the day when we get to meet this little man is coming so near. 

We had dinner on Saturday with some friends from grad school - some have kids, some do not.  The ones with kids were telling us about how much hard work it is, how tired they were those first 3-4 months.  Of course they threw in a little bit of "it's all worth it" but you could tell their tune was more of "oh, boy - you're really in for it" type of advice.  E and I think this type of advice is pretty funny because no matter what - our absolute worst day, no sleep, sick baby, dog tired day - it will be 1,000 times better than the days of no sleep because I'm worried about growing embryos, getting up early to go in for monitoring, being stuck 1,000 times for blood draws, medications, HSGs, etc.  There's honestly no comparison.  Our worst days with our son, will be 1,000 percent better than our best days as an infertile couple.  Those who have not experienced this pain can't possibly understand this.  I am wholeheartedly looking forward to the hardest job in the world - being a mommy. 

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

It's Been Awhile

I've been a bad blogger but I've been reading all your posts and keeping up.  I have just had so much on my mind these days every time I go to put it into words, I give up before I start the first sentence.

I'm 26 weeks today - a milestone that was unfathomable just a few short months ago. I still wake up and feel like I'm not living my usual life.  My body is changing and I've gained 16 pounds so far so only 9 more that I can gain and I've still go the holidays ahead of me so I'll have to remain on track.  Baby is kicking up a storm in there and it's absolutely incredible. E can feel him kick now too and this makes me even happier that he can share in some of that excitement.

Baby shower #1 is planned for about 2 weeks from now. I still can't even believe I am getting to have a shower.  Relatives are planning shower #2 in about 3 weeks, that is if they ever get the invitations out.  So that's another story but let me tell you- the baby shower is VERY IMPORTANT to an infertile.  Seriously, don't say you're going to host something if you don't have time to host. Sending invites out late to guests is not cool.  And besides, who wants to be at a party no one shows up to.  OK rant over.

We have our next check up in about 2 weeks and I'm anxious to see if my placenta has moved up at all. I really want to avoid a c-section if possible but if that's what it comes to, let's just get the little one out safe and sound.

I can't eat spicy food even though I love it because I'll be up all night. Heck I can't even have a slightly larger than normal dinner because I'll be up all night.  Tums helps but a little bit of sleep deprivation is alright by me. I've endured worse.

Gifts and hand-me-downs are starting to pile up at the house and E and I are working on getting the nursery ready. The furniture should be here in the next few weeks and I can't wait.  Talk about crazy nesting - it's taken me forever to pick out bedding and paint colors because I want everything to be perfect.  I've waited so long for this little man to arrive, I want him to have the most perfect nursery we can build him.

I'm trying to limit the number of infant care books I ready because they just stress me out. I know we'll be just fine.  Childbirth class is on the horizon - again, can't believe that's something I get to attend.  It still doesn't seem quite real!