Thursday, August 21, 2014

I never imagined this reality

I have been gathering medical records for second opinions coming up and seeing that we started this journey for baby #2 just about 1 year ago in September. Back then, never in my wildest dreams did I think we'd be back here. Starring down the barrel of another laparoscopy, with 5 blasts transferred, 20K + in the hole. How in the hell did we get here!?!?!

I measuring my life in cycles again. Somehow, I'm back on that hopeless, hope, despair, depression, hope roller coaster again. I thought when C was born, I had paid for my ticket off that ride.  Now it's starting to piss me off that I have to do all this again. I hate it, and maybe I'm more resentful this time around. 

As I trudge along through the infertility sludge docs finally talked about me having the surgery. So, next week I have a consult with my OB to go over things and hopefully pick a surgery date. I suppose some time after that, we'll reevaluate and see what my RE thinks about moving forward. 

I did ask him about doing the Lupron Depot and he said he would only want me to to do 1 shot in conjunction with birth control pills directly prior to the FET - huh? So that leaves 100 more questions I suppose.  Would that even be enough to reset my lining? I've never heard of this protocol with BCPs?  What in the heck is he thinking? 



  1. I hope you can get some answers and a plan!

  2. I couldn't have written this post word for word. I'm on a break tho until after November. All I can say is that it's fucking bullshit.