Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Living in Slow Motion

About 30 more hours till we find out if we're still in the game here.  I have so many feelings occuring all at once it's really difficult to concentrate at work.

Last night, E and I decided to celebrate a little with a dinner out at one of our favorite restaurants.  I didn't feel like cooking and we didn't go out to eat all weekend so we decided a Monday evening out was in order.  We of course couldn't talk about anything but what was going on in my nether regions. We both confessed how scary this was and how worried we are that this won't work out. 

E has a much better perspective on all this than I do.  Maybe it's because he doesn't have to analyze every single spot, twinge, cramp, etc. like I do.  He is hopeful, but cautious...I can see how happy he is on the inside though.  He is excited that this is the furtherest we've gotten and that IVF may indeed work for us.  He reassures me that no matter what we'll get through this.  He is exactly what I need.

I had a teeny bit of brown spotting last night when we got home from dinner. E again reassured me that this was totally normal.  Thankfully I haven't had any more spotting this morning -but cramping on and off.  And no more sore boobs. I loved the sore boobs! They were a great reminder of what was going on in my body.

I'm having a hard time sleeping and I think these next few days are going to be some of the more difficult we've had to endure.  I know the chances of miscarriage are increased with IVF, then I think they're even increased with women with endometriosis too.  I just want so badly for this to be the end of our journey and I'm doing my best to hang in there.

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