It's extremely difficult to keep all these things at their peak during the trying to conceive journey. It's exhausting to remember all your meds, shots, vitamins, no lifiting anything over 25 lbs. Exhausting to endure excruciating periods, BFN after BFN after BFN, pregnancy announcements, silly comments from strangers and the many other hurtful things that only infertiles can explain.
I've always focused my energy on keeping my body in the best baby-friendly condition. My faith has wained but in the last few months, I've decided to take better care of the mind portion. E and I joined a support group and I see a therapist regularly. It really wasn't until my younger sister announced her pregnancy in August that I really jumped into the therapy idea. The first session was a little weird and awkward but each session, I learned more about my feelings, I discovered some coping strategies and gained important perspective on some of my actions.
I always had a slightly negative opinion about people who needed therapy. Being a strong and independent woman, I never thought I'd be the type to need it. To put it lightly, I have learned otherwise. No matter the individual, we all go through hard times and sometimes you just need guidance on how to deal with situations you've never faced. We don't have all the answers - especially in infertility when the level of effort does not proportionally equal the results.
I am lucky to have found an excellent therapist who specializes in infertility and to attend a great support group. The girls in the group got together Saturday for lunch - our first non-sanctioned gathering. I thought it might be a little awkward, but we all had such a great time. We went for pizza at a casual restaurant and just talked about whatever - infertility, vacations, doctors, treatments, and weekend plans. We have old, we have young, we have African American women, Indian women, stay at home wives and career women. Infertility doesn't discriminate it seems. I am so grateful for their encouragement, advice and words of wisdom. They often make me feel like I can get through this terrible journey and of course let me know that I'm not alone.
If you have a friend who's going through infertility, let her vent, get angry, laugh, cry - whatever she needs. She just needs you not to judge or offer trite solutions. This journey affects us all differently and for those of you in the middle of it, I would encourage you to find some sort of support whether it's through a group or a proffessional. I can't tell you how much it has helped.
So once a month or so we go to group and once a week I go to therapy...hoping I won't need these for very much longer but if I do...I do and that's that.