Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Not Sure What to Think

My emotions are all over the place.

We tested last night...and got a POSITIVE! Like a really strong one.

I arrived home before E but waited till he got home. We tested right away because neither of us could take the pressure anymore.  The line came up just about the same time as the control. And it was nice and dark, perhaps even darker than the test line. I of course thought it was negative at first, but I realized I needed to give it more than 10 seconds to darken.

We were on cloud nine and just hoping for the best.

Then I tested this morning with FMU and the FRER looked a smidge lighter. But the control line looked a little lighter too so we don't know what to think. I took one of those CBE weeks estimator tests and it showed up "Pregnant" pretty quick but then it took awhile for the timing part to show...and when it did, my heart sank "1-2" when I'm technically 2 weeks and 2/3 days since ovulation. Friends have reassured me that those tests are really wonky so I'm trying not to freak.  They've also told me that I shouldn't compare my evening test to my morning test right after each other. So, I don't know what to think.

I flipped out a little this morning and asked for a beta a day early. So now blood is drawn and I wait.  I am not expecting beta to be as high as it was for C.  With him, my lines showed up so fast...and before the control line. I think there might be less HCG in there but I'm really really hoping with all my might that we get a good enough number to be in the game.  I wanted to test sooner so my second beta would be one day sooner - and that's the important one - to make sure it's rising appropriately.

And of course, I looked up betabase info and C's betas were always lower than their averages and he was perfect. Please pray that this works.

I think I'll be stepping away from the sticks.

UPDATE: beta was 370! I am shocked that it was even higher than C's beta. Those pee sticks are evil. I am not going to test again. I have had so few happy days infertility wise and I just want to live in Ignorant bliss for 48 more hours. I guess it's a little silly but the sticks are just going to make me crazy and/or upset and there's nothing I can do about it now except pray. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be back to freaking out again but for now I'm on the verge of cautiously optimistic. Could this Lone Ranger really be the one?


  1. OMG!!!! I'm so happy for you! Congratulations! SOOOOOO Many prayers and sticky vibes to you! I really really hope that this is it! I agree with everything your friends said about the line comparisons and the week indicator tests, it's just not an exact science that you can depend on. PRAYING!

  2. this is awesome. Like AWESOME. I agree back away from the sticks. Please udpate asap on the results. xx

  3. I am stalking here!!!! Wel?????

  4. WOOOOO! That's a great number! Probably a good idea to put down the tests! Continued prayers! Come on little lone ranger, stick!

  5. That's amazing!!! GIRL yeah I'm calling it 😝