Waiting for the Shoe to Drop

Blood is drawn and now I've got about 6 more hours to wait for the results of beta #3.  I am scared out of my mind. This weekend was a long one with Saturday afternoon being a little touch and go.  That afternoon I got my haircut...course I cancelled the coloring out of an abundance of precaution. Had to stave of pregnancy notions from my hairdresser of course.

I felt fine for the most part but then I started noticing some coming and goings of cramping. They weren't uncomfortable but noticeable. I headed to the store after the haircut and felt them again...off and on.  I tried to ignore them but at one point I ran to the nearest public restroom because I was sure I was bleeding...nope all was fine.  Phew. Sunday and today I've felt totally fine.

Saturday's intermittent cramping stayed with me for a few more hours and then of course I scoured my old posts and fertility friend charts to see what I recorded with my 2 chemicals and then C's pregnancy.  I am deathly afraid of a repeat of chemical pregnancy #1 - I had a "perfect beta" at 19dpo and then started cramping the next day and bled throughout the day. Beta #2 fell by 1/2 which my RE said was really unusual to go down so fast. This time, I haven't had any bleeding at all which is good I guess.

Then with C's pregnancy, I recorded some intermittent light cramping as well. But I also recorded sore breasts coming and going. UGH - I know none of it means a thing. The only thing that counts is the blood test. I am so scared that I will wake up from this dream and be thrown right back into my usual nightmare.   

UPDATE:  Oh thank goodness; they didn't make me wait long. Beta was 4,329 and her words were "your beta rose beautifully." I am still in shock that this is happening. They want me to come in early next week for an US but I won't be home from our Denver trip until Thursday so I'll have to make the appointment then. Hoping our trip is a good distraction until the next appointment. It's a big one that's for sure. I would love nothing more than to hear that little heartbeat.