As I drove into work today I thought about how I was sure any moment now I was going to wake up from this dream. It also dawned on me that I'm currently truly living my dream life - I have an amazing husband, a comfortable home, a good job, a gorgeous 2-year old running all over the house and as far as we know, we'll have another baby on the way in 8 months. It truly is my dream come true and I feel like if I am not at least be a little happy in this moment, I'll be mad at myself.
I know how quickly things can change. I know what the risks are. I will be devastated if things do not work out, but all I have is today and these moments. I may never get them back again so I'm going to just be happy - I've decided. This takes work of course because negative thoughts come creeping in all the time, but I'm trying to kick those out. I have learned there's always plenty of time for sadness.
One more week till ultrasound. Hoping our little family vacation helps the time go by faster.