There will be no announcing my pregnancy when my sister delivers her first in March. There will be no Easter dinner where we share the news with my cousins. There will be no October 3rd birthday parties in the yard when the weather has cooled, yet it's still warm and you can start to smell fall in the air. There will be no year of the dragon baby. 2012 will not be the year I give birth.
We missed group last night because we didn't know how to handle it. I'm not having a baby, but I'm not not pregnant either technically. I would probably just ball my eyes out anyway, but not being there hurts too. I miss my friends. The only ones who can understand the pain I'm in. And yet, they'll likely think we're missing group because we have good news to share. That's the worst part.