Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Other Side

As an infertile, I spent many years with that jealous pain in my heart when I heard of pregnancy announcements, birth announcements etc. I honestly didn't know how I'd make it through another Christmas card season - getting barraged with happy, smiling photos of new families with their perfect little ones in their arms.

And while I'm thankful each and every day for the miracle that has fallen upon us, I still feel that jealousy at times.  I blogged about my close friend who recently announced her pregnancy to me and how it hit me hard.  I was very jealous at how easily they became pregnant the first time - and now the second time.

They struggled through a less than favorable NT scan at 12 weeks and I recently found out some terrible news.  They baby did not make it - and she had to have a D&C at 20 weeks. I don't know all the details because as close as we are, I am sure I am not the person she wants to see right now.  I had a few updates in between that didn't sound good but nothing really concrete until just 2 weeks ago.  I have sent gifts, texts, and emails - all of which have been returned, but I know they need time to heal. I can't imagine what terrible grief they must be feeling.  

It strikes me how envious I was of this couple originally.  How I would have done anything in my power to switch places.  I guess we all have our own paths, filled with ups and downs at different points in our lives no matter how green the grass seems to be on the other side.

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