Monday we met with our RE about getting ready to cycle again for a try at baby number 2. I can't even explain how surreal it is to be typing those words. I had so many mixed emotions before the appointment but thankfully work kept me busy so the magnitude of what was about to happen didn't really hit me until I started walking the 4 blocks from work to the RE's office that day. I was suddenly so nervous, excited, scared and hopeful all at the same time.
Walking in the doors, I was given a patient information sheet to fill out because it had been "so long" since I had been in. E wasn't there yet and I was so flustered filling out the forms. I am pretty sure I put my address on the "patient name" line and had to cross a few things out. It didn't help when the dippy receptionist who I always despised commented that she was happy to see us back and that things must have worked well the first time, so we're a shoe in for another kiddo. SERIOUSLY!??!?! I almost jumped over the desk and strangled her. Who says that at a fertility clinic!?!? I mean it took us 3.5 years to make it to #1 and #2 could definitely be a whole new struggle. You just never know what lies ahead. Thankfully E walked in about 3 seconds after that and then RE came out the door and over to greet us right away and I immediately felt much better.
We headed back into the consult room and dug right in about how the pregnancy and birth went. He wanted to know the reasons we had a C-section but didn't seem worried about it at all. He said because we have 4 frozens, we have a very good shot of at least getting 1 more child out of that batch. Gosh, I want to believe that with all my heart. All in all, I left feeling really excited and confident but then those feelings scared me. I remember feeling them way back when we decided we'd try to have kids in the first place. Filled with hope and joy that we'd have a happy ending - not knowing that end was so so painful to reach. Anyway, I still left feeling good because I know at the end of the day - no matter what happens with this cycle or the next, I am already a mommy and I have that to comfort me. I can't imagine how coming home to a snugly little guy wouldn't help ease the pain of a failed cycle.
So the plan is to update my blood work, pap and I have to get a mock transfer done. Oh and stop breastfeeding as well which is sad for me. We were nursing just 2 times a day but then we went down to once a day this week and I am having a hard time with it. I know I need to wean completely before we cycle again, but nursing is so wonderful now that we've got a routine. My supply is dwindling though and I think it's just a matter of a few more weeks. This morning, the little one finished a bottle but then turned to me to nurse. It was so adorable, I just let him. I knew he couldn't be that hungry. He had just finished a 4 oz bottle, but I think he was doing it more for comfort. I wanted to snuggle too. Anyway, it will be challenging for both of us but we'll work it out. I think we're looking at doing our FET in October so I'll keep you posted on the happenings.