Monday, November 18, 2013

Other things on my mind

Did I kill my embryo?  I can't get this out of my head.  When a frozen transfer doesn't work after a successful IVF, you've got to wonder.  Was it me or was it the embryo? And I can't help but think it was me.  It was a "perfect" blast. And now I'm thinking I should have insisted on the steroids the first time around with the FET rather than wait for a failure.

The good news is that my RE has agreed to the prednisone this next time around. I was on them for my successful IVF so it's got be wondering if our decision to forgo the steroids cost us a baby.  It's heartbreaking to think this way. 

And what if that was our only good remaining embryo?!?! I've just killed it. I also asked about endometium scratching which may improve implantation, but RE won't agree to do it until I've had another FET failure - fun, right?  I've had 4 transfers of 1 "perfect" blast each time and only one successful pregnancy so do I think there's an implantation issue going on too, you bet! 

Hind site is 20/20 but these are the thoughts that crowd my mind these days. What could I have done better, more, less of?  Or, perhaps I should know better - I have no control over this process whatsoever. 


  1. No way to know why it didn't work, I guess, but try not to blame yourself! Hang in there! Prayers!

  2. With C, he was the third transfer of genetically perfect embryos from our first donor cycle. The first two times we did everything exactly the same, but neither implanted. So there's just a lot of (shitty) luck involved, even with controlling all the variables.

    My RE doesn't do scratches for FETs, only with retrievals, which seems odd to me. I think we'll do another transfer, and if it doesn't work, I'll ask him to do the scratch for the next (which would be our last girl embryo).