It Never Gets Easier

Beta day always sucks. Officially a BFN and I have 1,000 questions for my RE which I've written on an oversized post-it note on my desk. My nurse said he'll call tomorrow but today, I feel hopeless. Why do I keep killing these embryos? Are we really meant to suffer the same excruciating journey on our quest for baby #2?  I am so stupid for thinking this would be easier the second time around.