Tuesday, April 29, 2014

My Uterus Looks Great

In case you were wondering.

Last Wednesday, we went in for a second opinion with another clinic. I just can't get out of my head how insane it is to do the same exact FET 4 times in a row and not change a thing. It seems so counter-intuitive but I guess that's why I'm not an RE.  It's a numbers game at this point with these embryos and not knowing if this last one is even normal makes me feel so hopeless.

So our appointment went well...the doc was very thorough. Anyone ever wonder why they ask you to fill out their 20 page questionnaire if they're just going to spend 20 mins of your consult asking you the same questions and entering those in their system? Wacky - but oh well. Basically, this RE said that without knowing if this last embryo is even normal, there's not much we can change. Lining looks good every time etc. He did suggest that we do a saline sono though just to check the uterus even though there had been no indications of issues during my transfers or ultra sounds.  He said if we switched practices, he'd likely be a bit more conservative with the stims instead yielding what he thinks will be better quality eggs vs quantity. He acknowledged that he was in the minority on that point though. Also, he would recommend PDG and a stim, test, freeze, transfer cycle. And perhaps ahead of time an endometrial function test. I've got to read more about that first but it sounds interesting.   While there are no guarantees, he thought another IVF was certainly worth it for us. Of course this could be the $$$ talking, but I'd like to think that since we had just disclosed that E got laid off, this doc wouldn't be that callous.

So I left feeling defeated...E didn't feel the same. I am so pissed to be going through this again and questioning every decision we make as well at the REs' decisions. I thought we had this thing. Baby #2 was going to be a breeze. So it might take more than one FET to get there, but we were going to get this done the easy way. I hate feeling like I'm in no man's land again.

We resolved to stick with the current practice at least through this last FET. It just doesn't make sense $$ wise to move the embryo. Plus I still really love my current RE and he's one of the best in the country - oh and he got me pregnant once too already so there's that. I asked for the saline sono to be done before going ahead and he said no problem. He totally understood why we would want to be sure before using our last embryo.  I went in yesterday and everything looks perfectly fine.

It was odd walking into the office yesterday as we were at a location I don't visit that often. In fact, the last time I was in that particular office, we were going for our 8 week ultra sound with my son. To be back there at this stage in our journey was tough.  Happy memories were overtaken by anxiety instead. This just blows! 

We move ahead...last BCP is Saturday with check next Monday and I'll start those shots again that afternoon if everything looks OK. 

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