Almost ready

I start my meds in 2 days for FET # something. I'm not sure when to count. This will be my 6th FET including the one we did before C was born. It's my 5th FET if we're just counting since we've been trying for baby #2. I suppose it's really a telltale sign of an infertile if you're unsure of when you're supposed to start counting  your failed cycles from, right? Anyway you count it, it's cycle "I've-done-way-too-many-of-these-and-this-HAS-to-be-it."

I'm ready for this to work, you know why? Because I need to come to an end of cycling soon. I can't take doing many more. It's just exhausting and expensive and I'm tired of banging my head against the wall after failed cycles. According to the RE, I should be pregnant by now. All the medical signs are pointing to a successful cycle now that a big item has been discovered.  I have said it before but I'm not certain - I think I have the energy to do one more fresh cycle just because we have the insurance coverage for one, but who knows. 

Adoption is scary and expensive as well, but I will feel like we gave another biological baby a really really good shot after a few more months of treatment. If all medical signs are pointing to the fact that this should be working for me...and my RE isn't willing to explore any "out-of-the-box" stuff, then I'm out. I sorta feel like if the mainstream stuff isn't working for me, why couldn't he try something different.  But I'm tired of research and second opinions.

Adoption will take awhile as we have to renew our home study and figure out if we'll go with an agency or on our own. We never got that far last time. But I want to start the process soon because I'd like to keep C and a sibling as close in age as possible. A 4 year or less age gap would be ideal - ha but of course, ideal is not a world I live in.