Mark my words, I will never ever ever again complain about getting blood draws for fertility or other purposes. Piece of cake compared to the horrible experience I had this morning giving my blood for the immune work-up.
First of all...this quick little in and out appointment that the nurse said we'd encounter - not so quick. But she hands me my vials so I can go get my blood drawn on the bottom floor and there were 18 vials. Yes, 18 vials folks! I counted. E had 4. I had about 6 that were jumbo, 6 that were regular size and 6 that were small.
So she starts drawing blood from my right arm. Quick prick and we're pumping - no problem. About 4 jumbo vials in and 3 whole mins of blood flow...my arms starts to tingle and I am getting a little warm. The nurse says that because there's so many vials, they will likely have to use both arms because my blood will start to clot. Sure enough, 4 vials later - blood stops coming.
At this point, I think I'm going to faint. I've never fainted before but the warm, nauseous, sweaty, tingly feeling I had was spot on I'm told. She pricked me again on the left arm....I managed to make it through the rest but I thought I was going to vomit all over the white floor.
I am a blood-giving champion today and I so hope this testing allows us to make a better decision with treatment moving forward.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
The Evolution of My Bookshelf
In the beginning there was "The Devil Wears Prada," "Freakonomics," "Jane Eyre," and the like. I generally rotate my reading list to include a beach book, a best-seller and then a classic that I never read, or merely glossed over in high school.
Then, in crept a little book titled, "What to Expect Before You're Expecting" and "The Working Mom's Survival Guide." I was so excited to have purchased these. I can still remember telling my friend with the now 1-year old, that I'd purchased these. Little did I know that these would lead to the establishment of an entire shelf related to my pursuit of motherhood.
A few months later came, "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and "Eating Well for Fertility" or something along those lines. Hmmm, maybe I'm not doing this right. Then I dug out my natural family planning book from our marriage prep classes. Next I purchased Randine Lewis' "The Fertility Cure" which basically convinced me I had endometriosis...so I then purchased "Endometriosis: A Key to Healing Through Nutrition," and I tried my hand at eating gluten and dairy free.
When Clomid, IUIs, surgery and IVF didn't work, I purchase Dr. Beers' book, "Is Your Body Baby Friendly?" to which I've now convinced myself I have some immune related issues and will be getting tested next week.
The home study process required the book, "Raising Adopted Children" which really opened my eyes to the world of adoption and allowed me to come to grips with the reality of the experience. It helped me recognize that I might not be ready to jump into that world right this second based on the current state of affairs. But that perhaps, I needed a bit more time before we actively search for a birth mother. This realization has led me to the 1st of 2 books that are up next in the line-up: "Adopting After Infertility."
Friday is the first official meeting of The Fake Book Club - basically a group of my friends have come together to sip wine and catch up. We figured there should be a book involved at least for the first few get-togethers. Thank GOD, I managed to sneak "The Help" in during all my infertility reading. I'm hoping the reading requirement will phase out sooner rather than later, because I doubt no one else wants to read, "The Long Awaited Stork" which is currently on my nightstand -because, let's face it - the bookshelf is full.
Then, in crept a little book titled, "What to Expect Before You're Expecting" and "The Working Mom's Survival Guide." I was so excited to have purchased these. I can still remember telling my friend with the now 1-year old, that I'd purchased these. Little did I know that these would lead to the establishment of an entire shelf related to my pursuit of motherhood.
A few months later came, "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and "Eating Well for Fertility" or something along those lines. Hmmm, maybe I'm not doing this right. Then I dug out my natural family planning book from our marriage prep classes. Next I purchased Randine Lewis' "The Fertility Cure" which basically convinced me I had endometriosis...so I then purchased "Endometriosis: A Key to Healing Through Nutrition," and I tried my hand at eating gluten and dairy free.
When Clomid, IUIs, surgery and IVF didn't work, I purchase Dr. Beers' book, "Is Your Body Baby Friendly?" to which I've now convinced myself I have some immune related issues and will be getting tested next week.
The home study process required the book, "Raising Adopted Children" which really opened my eyes to the world of adoption and allowed me to come to grips with the reality of the experience. It helped me recognize that I might not be ready to jump into that world right this second based on the current state of affairs. But that perhaps, I needed a bit more time before we actively search for a birth mother. This realization has led me to the 1st of 2 books that are up next in the line-up: "Adopting After Infertility."
Friday is the first official meeting of The Fake Book Club - basically a group of my friends have come together to sip wine and catch up. We figured there should be a book involved at least for the first few get-togethers. Thank GOD, I managed to sneak "The Help" in during all my infertility reading. I'm hoping the reading requirement will phase out sooner rather than later, because I doubt no one else wants to read, "The Long Awaited Stork" which is currently on my nightstand -because, let's face it - the bookshelf is full.
Monday, February 27, 2012
The Pregnant Bride
I got some news today from my mom. One of my very best friends in grade school and throughout high school got engaged at Christmas. Her family lived on our street for many years and when I was in college, they moved back to Ohio. We remained friends and I see her family at least once a year. Well, my mom told me that they aren't having a big wedding - "only 100 people" - and I probably wouldn't be invited.
Now, my mom and our friends back home are all very sad they won't be invited to the wedding as first of all - 100 people is no small wedding and second of all, these people are like family. I am definitely disappointed. My mom is very upset. The kicker - my friend is pregnant! Yup, my mom relayed that news as well but I guess she's not due until September and the wedding (the one I won't be invited to) is in May.
There's a sneaking suspicion floating around there that my friend got pregnant on purpose. Knowing her, there could be some truth to this but I don't know what to believe. Either way, I feel like I got punched in the gut twice today. I don't know whether to be happy, disappointed in her - or what. Right now, I'm a little glad that I won't have to go see a pregnant bride this May. I think I would probably hurl if I had to go.
Now, my mom and our friends back home are all very sad they won't be invited to the wedding as first of all - 100 people is no small wedding and second of all, these people are like family. I am definitely disappointed. My mom is very upset. The kicker - my friend is pregnant! Yup, my mom relayed that news as well but I guess she's not due until September and the wedding (the one I won't be invited to) is in May.
There's a sneaking suspicion floating around there that my friend got pregnant on purpose. Knowing her, there could be some truth to this but I don't know what to believe. Either way, I feel like I got punched in the gut twice today. I don't know whether to be happy, disappointed in her - or what. Right now, I'm a little glad that I won't have to go see a pregnant bride this May. I think I would probably hurl if I had to go.
Friday, February 24, 2012
A Different Kind of Wait
I'm talking about the weight. The IVF weight. The weight I gained as a result of having our first IVF and FET cycles over Thanksgiving and Christmas. There was less exercising and more eating - along with crazy hormones for almost 3 months straight.
I got fat. Well, not technically fat - but big enough that I had to go out and buy a new pair of jeans. I have to be strategic every morning I get dressed for work and make sure I pick out a dress or one of my larger pairs of dress pants because I haven't lost the weight yet. It's really frustrating because before IVF, I was at a consistent 128 which is still more than I want to be but I could live with. I'm a petite 5'0" with an athletic build and my ideal weight is more like 125 - but hey I can dream. I have gotten there before.
Over the course of the IVFs, I crept up to 136. It's been about 3 weeks since our chemical and I was just praying and hoping the weight would just disappear. Hmmmm, not happening. I guess I got used to eating too much or something. I worked really hard last week and got down to 133 where I've stayed. I had hoped to loose another 3 this week, but it didn't happen. I am hoping the fact that I've given up red meat and cheese for Lent is going to help. I have borderline high cholesterol so I figured I'd kill 2 birds with one stone. I don't think God will mind.
Cheese is my weakness. Wine is too but hey, a girl has to have some fun.
I got fat. Well, not technically fat - but big enough that I had to go out and buy a new pair of jeans. I have to be strategic every morning I get dressed for work and make sure I pick out a dress or one of my larger pairs of dress pants because I haven't lost the weight yet. It's really frustrating because before IVF, I was at a consistent 128 which is still more than I want to be but I could live with. I'm a petite 5'0" with an athletic build and my ideal weight is more like 125 - but hey I can dream. I have gotten there before.
Over the course of the IVFs, I crept up to 136. It's been about 3 weeks since our chemical and I was just praying and hoping the weight would just disappear. Hmmmm, not happening. I guess I got used to eating too much or something. I worked really hard last week and got down to 133 where I've stayed. I had hoped to loose another 3 this week, but it didn't happen. I am hoping the fact that I've given up red meat and cheese for Lent is going to help. I have borderline high cholesterol so I figured I'd kill 2 birds with one stone. I don't think God will mind.
Cheese is my weakness. Wine is too but hey, a girl has to have some fun.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
The Wonders of Technology
A few minutes ago, I received this email from my very pregnant younger sister
[redacted of course]:
__________________
____________________
My response to my sister: "If all I get is a text, you're in big trouble!"
I mean I'm the godmother for Pete's sake! And thank you Duffled or whoever you are. Really? Really? Did we need this? Can infertiles block these things?
[redacted of course]:
__________________
Hey Friends and Family-
Baby time is fast approaching at the [sister's] household and thanks to the wonders of technology we have set up an awesome way to let you all know when our little lady has arrived! We will be sending out the news via text alert. It is easy and FREE to all of you lovely people, and don't worry I promise you won't get text spammed or anything like that.
If you would like to get a text when baby arrives, all you have to do to get added to the list is:
TEXT: [their last name]
to the Number: [some numbers here]
You will then get 2 texts back, one from duffled (the text company), and then one from us letting you know you are all set up!
Then we wait :)!
Love,
US____________________
My response to my sister: "If all I get is a text, you're in big trouble!"
I mean I'm the godmother for Pete's sake! And thank you Duffled or whoever you are. Really? Really? Did we need this? Can infertiles block these things?
Monday, February 20, 2012
WTF
What is with all the freaking pregnant ladies in my yoga class?!?!?! I mean seriously - it's not prenatal yoga - it's power yoga. It's 100 degrees. This is "OMG-my-arms-are-gonna-fall-off-and-even-my-elbows-are-sweating" yoga. Pregnant ladies... you're killing my focus!
I recently returned to my favorite yoga studio. I had been instructed by my accupuncturist to stay away from hot yoga - Baptiste and Bikram - because of the hot temperatures. The fertility meds "heat up" your ovaries so the extra heat is not good for you. Well since we're on a break for a few months, I decided to go back. I had been practicing at another, non-heated studio, but it's not the same. In my 6 months at the other studio, I think I ran into one pregnant lady - one. That I could handle.
Last Sunday was my first class back. My f-ing instructor was visibly pregnant. Immediately some 4-letter words ran through my mind. There were about 2 other pregnant ladies in the class as well. They're everywhere. I mean I go to yoga to focus, to exercise, to sweat and not to see pregnant ladies! Get outta my CLASS! Ok rant ending now - just had to vent. Namaste.
I recently returned to my favorite yoga studio. I had been instructed by my accupuncturist to stay away from hot yoga - Baptiste and Bikram - because of the hot temperatures. The fertility meds "heat up" your ovaries so the extra heat is not good for you. Well since we're on a break for a few months, I decided to go back. I had been practicing at another, non-heated studio, but it's not the same. In my 6 months at the other studio, I think I ran into one pregnant lady - one. That I could handle.
Last Sunday was my first class back. My f-ing instructor was visibly pregnant. Immediately some 4-letter words ran through my mind. There were about 2 other pregnant ladies in the class as well. They're everywhere. I mean I go to yoga to focus, to exercise, to sweat and not to see pregnant ladies! Get outta my CLASS! Ok rant ending now - just had to vent. Namaste.
Friday, February 17, 2012
No More Pencils, No More Books...
No, wait - that's not quite right but who the heck cares! I don't have a doctor's appointment for 10 whole days! I seriously can't believe it. This is sure to sound absurd to those "on the outside," but 10 whole days without one single therapy session, blood draw, ultra sound, WTF consult, egg retrieval, acupuncture session, egg transfer, physical (had that Wednesday), heck -- dentist check up -- is, to put it lightly, F-ing AMAZING.
I can't remember the last time I went 10 days without seeing a doctor of some sort. It must have been back in August when we were on vacation in Ireland. Right after vacation, we jumped into 2 natural cycle IVFs, and then after that a fresh IVF followed by a frozen...and here we are. I started therapy back in October and I go weekly when I'm cycling and every other week when I'm not. My therapist had to move next week's session, and when she did - I flipped an entire page in my planner and did a double take. I mean, I even took my puppy to the Vet today for her annual check up so there's no chance I'll have to go there either. Barring any freak emergency, I'll be physician-free for just over a week. I've got to see the positive side of this crazy life, right?
I can't remember the last time I went 10 days without seeing a doctor of some sort. It must have been back in August when we were on vacation in Ireland. Right after vacation, we jumped into 2 natural cycle IVFs, and then after that a fresh IVF followed by a frozen...and here we are. I started therapy back in October and I go weekly when I'm cycling and every other week when I'm not. My therapist had to move next week's session, and when she did - I flipped an entire page in my planner and did a double take. I mean, I even took my puppy to the Vet today for her annual check up so there's no chance I'll have to go there either. Barring any freak emergency, I'll be physician-free for just over a week. I've got to see the positive side of this crazy life, right?
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